It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Despite what people say, the three reasons that teachers choose to teach are not June, July, and August. Lets be honest, any free time we get in the summer is highly cherished...but many schools now are year round, if they are not teachers often opt to teach summer school. (Fine, plenty teachers will disagree with me, but I like to think of us as more noble than this!)

I, however, do very much enjoy my holiday free time the best!!! I cannot imagine having to go to work the day before or after Christmas or Thanksgiving...been there done that. Retail helped get me through school and I am happy to say I will probably never have to worry about working the holiday season again!

That is all...a very pointless blog you may say, and I would have to agree! I just wanted to express my great joy of having 5 days off for Thanksgiving and 2 weeks off for Christmas! My joy is bubbling over and I had to share it with the whole interwebs! Please don't hate me...in fact feel free to buy me presents or send me pie!! :P

Education and Tea Parties...

I know people do not often approve of my ranting and raving about my political views. However, in light of the current elections I feel some things must be mentioned so the fives and tens of people who read my blog stay up to date and informed.

On a blustery Tuesday 5 days ago a Dr. Rand Paul became the Senator of Kentucky. Now, the Tea Party is becoming notoriously popular for their grass roots movement, the extreme right views and of course their opposition to the terrorist based masturbation movement. Rand Paul is a proud Tea Partier. (Google tells me partier is not a word, but apparently there is no other way to suggest his affiliation in this tense.) Dr. Paul has made quite a few lofty claims regarding his beliefs and his plans for America's future. Before I launch into his educational beliefs, please recall that this is the gentleman who feels Civil Rights laws should not be enforced!! (Seriously?? We already won that war sir...please don't bring it back! I do not mind eating in a restaurant with people of different skin color and neither should you!)

Alright, so to keep with the theme of the blog let me explain his views on education. TO HELL WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION!! Well, maybe he never said those words, exactly, but I do love poetic license! He does feel taxes should be cut towards the Department of Education. As a teacher I know the Dept of Ed is far from flawless and yes, No Child Left Behind has literally left America much further behind all other developed nations...(but that rant shall be saved for a posting about George W in which there is no blog big enough.) Despite the major flaws in our education system, please try and imagine where we would be without a body to govern it! Pure chaos is all I can imagine! Not only does he want to cut funding, he wants to do so in order to support homeschooling. Now am I against homeschooling? Yes, as a teacher and my 5 years of education for my undergraduate degree and my 2 years for my Masters in Special Education, I do feel I am more qualified than SOME parents at educating children. After all...if I was arrested and on trial I would feel a lawyer would be more qualified to represent me rather than myself giving it a go. If a parent is against the health care system I would surely not think of suggesting they provide their own medical care to their children when they are ill, however, this is the alternative being provided for parents who don't support the education system. Should homeschooling not be an option? Of course not! Their are some excellent curriculums parents can purchase and if a parent is qualified then by all means I would support home schooling. I do still feel that there should be some laws and government departments to place guidelines and protective measures on homeschooling which is what Dr. Paul is against. If this ever happens it is basically telling the average American to go ahead and homeschool however they like. After all, they are the parents and to hell with highly qualified teachers. I can only imagine the disastrous outcomes that would occur if his thoughts on education actually caught on around the country...Our test scores are already trailing many countries, can you begin to fathom what would happen if a country who supports Nascar and fast food were left to their own devices for educating children??

In the Age of iEverything... Pt C

I have spent the last two posts talking about technology in the classroom and what an avid proponent I am of such technology. My current school just put up Smart Boards in every classroom which is SUPER amazing! (This post is not about Smart Boards or their awesomeness so please access the link if you are unaware of this great technology for teachers.) I stand behind any school who is willing to go the extra step or dollar to make their classrooms interactive.

HOWEVER, every up has a down and every positive has a negative. Despite my huge support of technology I thought I would take a minute to share the downsides it can have in a classroom, with a very true to life tale.

Once upon a time there was beautiful princess. She greatly upset the wicked queen and was banned to a life of low paying servitude in an education setting...

Fine, don't believe me...I was working in my classroom for children with Autism, but trust me, there was a wicked queen, errr director. Back to the tale!

I was assisting one of my high functioning kiddos who was quite smart. He worked on a reward system in which he could earn highly reinforcing items for appropriate behavior. For him this was the internet. As I sat with him on his 15 minute computer break I began multi-tasking, which is normally great but today proved horribly wrong. The additional work caused me to take my eyes off the screen for a bit. When I looked up, expecting to see some dumb anime website, I saw Google maps on street view. How peculiar, it looked just like my apartment complex neighborhood! Oh but it was! This little ankle biter had used the white pages to locate my address and searched for me! His plan was to "murder me while sleeping." Luckily he did not live in the same city as me and does not have access to reliable transportation. (Notice I left out my doubt in his ability to carry out murdering me.)

Whenever I get on my high horse about technology in the classroom, I just think back to this shining moment in my career and start to research the price of encyclopedias!

PS: I am forever and a day unlisted from here on out!

In the Age of iEverything... Pt Duex

If you recall my previous blog...which sported an awesome must see video, you will recall the great importance I place on technology in the classroom. I do try and stand by this. I have often allowed students to research on the internet as well as use different computer programs for creating reports that were not in document form. This might not always be the case, but I try and make it happen when I can. In fact, one time I was meeting with my supervisor and she told me she wanted the students to learn how to use research materials, i.e. dictionaries and encyclopedias. I proudly responded, "Fear not, they know how to search wikipedia as well as how to access dictionary.com and ninjawords.com." I take great pride in knowing my students were internet savvy. Not that I can take credit for this, I am pretty sure that group of students came out of the womb with a GameBoy DS in hand. She was upset because "EVERYBODY" should know how to use an encyclopedia....What??? WHY??? I surely do not go to my local city library and check out an encyclopedia to do research (Well mainly because you can't check them out, but you get the drift.) Heck, the higher up one gets in education the only research allowed is from peer reviewed journal articles which can mainly be found ONLINE! I do not see the value of teaching archaic methods of research when my classroom was equipped with two internet accessible computers. Well, the supervisor put her foot down...so I kindly asked for her to purchase me a set of encyclopedias. Magically Wikipedia worked just fine!

In the Age of iEverything... Pt 1

I heard a random quote while passing by a radio with a news station on...(I have no source for this information, unless "small counter in parents' kitchen" can be somehow sited in APA format!) This quote mentioned that the average child spends about 5 hours on some sort of computer equipment daily. Hmmmmm, sounds about right, but how often do you see children learning on computers in school? I mean as an adult, many jobs require the use of computers or internet access almost 24/7. Technology, social media, Smart Phones and all things computers are quickly shaping our lives and how our society functions! Holy geez, I make grocery lists on my iPhone, support my social life through Groupon, make plans via Facebook, take classes online, document my life through photos and twitter updates, heck even my mom just downloaded a new book to read! Why would we expect our nation's children to do anything different?

To drive my point home I considered composing a lovely essay on the importance of technological use in modern day classrooms...but I happened to stumbled across a video that clearly sums up my thoughts with fewer words and cute little kids! I thought rather than reading me ramble on, this video would suite you better! I really feel this is something everyone involved with children and schooling should watch. It points out some severe problems in the American education system and offers teachers a wide variety of options to make learning meaningful, active and hands on!

I will give you a minute to grab your popcorn....

3...2....1....

Now I am sure those who actually read my blog might have opposing view points. It should even be known that I too have denied my students the opportunity to create school work with technology as it might become harder for me to monitor. This is something I hope I can grow away from and learn how to better utilize in the future. I have some more thoughts that will hopefully be blogged in the near future to expand upon the use of technology in the classroom!

Maintaining One's Career

Hello Blogger Friends!

As mentioned this summer has been one of unemployment and consequently Law and Order SVU. Needless to say, this new hobby is one I love but does not pay the bills. We all know the economy is rough and finding a job is as likely as a my pup attempting calculus...ahem, hard. I am happy to announce that I will be working again come this school year and I am beyond excited! You are looking at a new ABA Therapy Provider (ABA=Applied Behavior Analysis).

This unfortunately has put me in a position I would like to know your viewpoints on. I found a job, one that I know I will love, one that is directly tied to my career field, my educational background, and one involving my favorite kiddos in the world. Unfortunately, this apparent dream job comes with a significant pay decrease. Now, I was originally only making teacher salary, so I was never making decent pay. Sadly to say I am now making sub-par-non-decent pay. I will be going from salary to hourly and that cuts the yearly pay almost in half. My question I pose to you:

Would you take a severe pay cut in order to stay in your desired field, or would you prefer to work in a job that drains your soul, but keeps you bank account afloat?

Reading, Writing, and NASCAR

Why hello fellow readers! It has been a while since I sat down an attempted to share my educational insights and stories with those of the blogosphere! The reason for my hiatus has been my lack motivation to keep a teacher blog when I am not teaching!! As barely mentioned in the previous post I lost my job and have forever been searching for a new one.

With this thought in my head I decided to blog out my feelings of economy as well as my job search and the less than stellar results I am having!

Everyone is quite aware the economy has not been going strong and with this in mind everything, including schools, suffer. Education has never been one of the country's highest funded entities. After all, what kind of money and revenue do children bring to the table? Last I checked it was a worthless enterprise. Personally I feel we should save the nation’s money for bailouts, spilling oil and huge commercial chains and advertisements. Did that come off as sarcastic? It was meant to…my lack of career at this point has left me a bit bitter.

Actually I have spent this time off brainstorming ideas on how to make the United States education system a bit more profitable. I came up with this killer idea…you ready for it?

ADVERTISING! When has advertising not worked? We are surrounded by it everyday and it essentially controls our lives as American consumers. As a teacher I would be more than happy to sport the national flag of Kellogg directly next to the American flag. I am practically dying to throw on a jump suit clad in Eggo Waffles and Pepsi labels. Hell, if this keeps me employed the big businesses can even take domain of my classroom bulletin board, which anyone in the know, understands how particular I am about my bulletin boards! Lets be honest, this tactic worked for NASCAR. You can try to convince me otherwise, but I am pretty sure no one actually watches NASCAR for the sporting event itself.

I digressed slightly from reality and my plan was not to do so. To be more on topic, teaching is a highly saturated field, at least in St. Louis and our surrounding areas. We have four large universities in STL alone that boast being “Teacher Schools” as well as two other large universities that I am sure offer the same degree. We then have the large state schools strewn about the Missouri that also feed heavily into STL upon graduation. On the other hand, STL also has numerous schools that are constantly closing. St. Louis Public Schools have been on a downward spiral for a long time and they are the biggest district we have to work with in this community.

I know I am the teacher here, but you can do the math. St. Louis is being force fed teachers with no place to go. I recently applied to a school district, one in which I had connections and did my student teaching. I felt this gave me a greater chance at scoring an interview at least. I talked with said connection and guess what? 488 teachers applied for the one job! My goodness with those numbers I will have to write my resume in Myspace Glitter Graphics just to be noticed!

To make matters worse, I am almost finished with my Masters degree. Schools do not want to hire someone who is already at salary step Bachelors +30! Sorry for the teacher talk but that’s a lot more money than they would have to pay a newbie fresh from college. However, if I look in other job fields I am told I have too many qualifications and would be better suited somewhere else? Where is that somewhere else???

Oh yeah…teaching, and let me tell you about the saturated teaching field…well this is just becoming a very circular tale and I am beginning to sound a bit like a NASCAR announcer…and they make another left turn!

Dr. Jenny, Reporting for Duty!

Being that my career has focused quite heavily in the field of Autism, I consider myself quite the expert. This of course entitles me to go on and on about things I know minimally about, yet should still be taken seriously. On the other hand, Jenny McCarthy has not spent her professional career in the field of Autism, so anything she has to say should be quickly disregarded. Now if I was looking for advice on Playboy Modeling or perhaps how to host a cheesy dating show, then I would take what Ms. McCarthy had to say as pure gold!

Are you a little lost? Let me give you some background...

A few years ago, Jenny McCarthy "decided" that her son had Autism, and quickly blamed the MMR vaccine (Measles, Mumps and Rubella) as the cause of Autism. I find this laughable as many people without Autism have received the same vaccine as a child. Let alone more boys than girls have Autism, as much as 4-1, yet the girls also receive the vaccine as a child as well. Laughable yes? WELL, many parents jumped on the blonde bandwagon and stopped vaccinating their young children. May I also remind you that Autism continues to grow at amazing rates? May I also remind you that this was a Playboy celebrity making these claims, not doctors? Needless to say, the vaccines became blamed for causing Autism.

It should also be noted that so many people did indeed jump on this bandwagon, as Jenny McCarthy did claim to "cure" her son's Autism. One cannot cure a development disorder, but do I need to tell you that? So now she is 0 for 2, yet people nationwide hail her as the go to person on Autism.

Jump ahead a few years and MAGICALLY a study shows there is NO LINK between vaccines and Autism! To me this makes perfect sense, but some parents, 1 in 4 to be specific still held on to the crazy belief that Ms. McCarthy put into their small little minds. But just to add more controversy to her claims...HER SON DOES NOT EVEN HAVE AUTISM! She shook the world with her biased claims, she then magically cured Autism in her son, when as it turns out her son never had Autism (which is why she felt she cured him with hugs and reading)!

Little 7 year old Evan has Landau-Kleffner syndrome, “a rare childhood neurological disorder that can also result in speech impairment and possible long-term neurological damage.” This particular disorder shows many of the same signs as Autism, especially at a young age. However, as the child progresses with age, it appears less like Autism, perhaps causing an unsuspecting parent to believe she has cured Autism.

So there you have it! Jenny McCarthy really should stick to taking off her clothes in front of the camera and let researchers, teachers, doctors, behaviors therapists and psychologists stick to the world of Autism. As a former educational therapist in an Autism classroom, I am glad this news has surfaced and hope that parents of children with Autism can go back to having some realistic views and ideas about the disorder.

Snow Days

Ah snow days! Sleeping in, bundling up, making snow angels and snow forts till your hands go numb, and then starting all over once you have warmed up with your favorite packet of Swiss Miss Instant Hot Cocoa!! Oh….what, you are an adult? Yeah, me too. My morning tends to be more…get up extra early if snow was predicted, bundle up, trudge out to the car, locate scrapper, clean off car with said scraper, pry open frozen car doors, warm up car, after 20 minutes screw the heat and drive off anyway, and SOMEHOW make it to work later than normal. Yes, as a child in the Midwest or anywhere to the north east of the Midwest, I and others dreamed, actually PRAYED, for snow days. As an adult in the same location I dread the snow and the idiots it brings out.

I know what you may be thinking. “This lady is a teacher! She doesn’t know what we go through. A tad bit of frozen precipitation hits the ground and she is back to being 8 years old again, not to worry about work at all!” Lets clear some things up…ONLY public school teachers get the perks of a snow day (well and some private school teachers as well.) But here I am sitting at my desk on this brisk snowy day wishing I was out throwing snow balls at passing cars and unsuspecting children. I do not get snow days, unless I would like to use PTO. It’s the cruel world of working for a non for profit agency that never closes. We are a 24-7 agency as we do have a residential program for developmentally disabled adults, and when you require 24 hours assistance, staff is not excused because of a wintery mix. But, much like the young child with in, I do enjoy these days. I have no students. They obviously got the day off. This leaves me in my quiet classroom to catch up on some real work, ahem, blogging.

But even while I sit here in the quiet peacefulness that I never get to experience in my classroom, I can’t help but reflect on why my priorities change. Why was once the fluffy white substance reason for celebration and now just an element waiting to mix with salt and discolor and corrode my car? Why as children can we appreciate such beauty, only to turn against it they day our tires hit the road? I never thought there would be a day where I would curse Mother Nature only due to the fact I have to trudge into work. I swore to myself as a child that I would always love the snow for its beauty and the endless creativity it provided me. In my ripe age of…errrr, later 20s, I have lost most of my inner child and have forgotten the promises I once made to myself. I can’t help but think my inner child was right…and I still need to hang on to a quote I try and live by:

“It takes a long time to become young”

These simple and sometimes confusing words were once said by Pablo Picasso. Now I am far from an art history major or philosopher, nor did this blog EVER promise such wisdom and insight. I do however feel it is important to remember the joy in our hearts we had as children and always strive to get back to that place, however long it may take us. The simple beauty of life when you are 8 is much more than it will ever be at the ripe age of whatever you may currently be. So as you slip and slide through the slush in a panic to get the last of the milk, bread and eggs, please remember that 20 years ago that this snow day was the BEST part of the entire winter school year.

Faith No More

What job can possibly be more under appreciated than that of a teacher? I am sure you quickly thought of garbage man, porta-potty cleaner, or perhaps even the teenager who collects carts at the grocery store, selflessly braving heat, rain and snow to keep carts stocked and your car almost dent free. I assure you those jobs do make the world go round, but I was thinking more along the lines of a substitute teacher. Sure you locked them out of the classroom when you were in middle school or put laxatives in their coffee, but you still appreciated the day, as it was a day with little supervision and next to no work. Yet, to this day, the dreaded substitute teacher still is over looked and under appreciated as an educational profession. Many might not understand the challenges that are laid out for a sub.
Well okay, so maybe you enjoy getting a call at 5 AM asking you to come into work at the last minute while you are still nursing a wicked hangover. This part may not be one of the many challenges for you. Perhaps not knowing what class/subject/content you will be forced to teach also sounds fun…again not a bump in the road. Health insurance, benefits package…ppfffsssh…you don’t need them. Fine so far the subbing gig might sound stellar to you, GREAT. However, the lack of respect, the teasing, the screaming, the practical jokes, the complete lies, the lack of help from any other teacher and the pure chaos about to ensue is bound to cause anyone to take a bath with a live toaster.
Me?
Alright, so I loved every minute of substitute teaching. Perhaps it caused me to eat Ramon Noodles and Hamburger Helper more times than recommended for the human stomach, but it was a dream job fresh from college. I could do what I wanted when I wanted and turn down jobs I would dread. I loved the thrill of the unknown and meeting so many new kids. Best of all it gave me the opportunity to test out my ability to manage a classroom with little consequence. After all, I could care less if this class failed math…I am not the one required to maintain Annual Yearly Progress for this classroom.
I was wrong, there is consequence. There are currently 25 now sixth graders who have me to blame for ruining their childhood fantasies, and perhaps their parents blame me for the corruption building in their lives.
What could they expect? The little Catholic school did not have me list my religious affiliation on the application for employment, how could they, there are laws to follow. They were none the wiser they had just hired an Atheist. This was not a concern of mine as I was applying for a substitute position for middle school. I would be stuck in social studies and math classes not to worry a thing about religion. Until the day I was running short on my Ramon cuisine and needed to take on extra jobs. “Would I mind, second grade? Of course not, be there by 8!”
Everything was going great…I even made it till two without stepping on one of the lil buggers running around the room or even losing one on the playground. But then on the sub schedule I looked at the last class and it was religion. I can handle this…I just taught spelling and I can’t spell. I opened up the chapter and we began the review for the test to occur the next day. We were speeding through the vocabulary when a student asked for me to explain faith again. I thought about my possible choices…I could feign medical trauma or I could tell the truth. I chose truth and dove right into what I thought was a magical explanation…
“Well, faith is when you believe in something even if there is no proof. (Smiles and nods…good) Sort of like Santa, no one sees Santa, and even though he doesn’t exist you still believe.”
Back up…did I just out Santa to a believing group of second graders? Did I just compare the Catholic religion and notable deity to a fictional Hallmark character? Did I just denounce the existence of Jesus and the fat man that brings toys?

Did I EVER substitute teach again?

The 5 W's

For those of you who are not teachers...or perhaps have never attended third grade...the 5 W's are: who, where, what, when and why. I hope to answer those five questions right now to explain the purpose of this blog.

WHO
Well I suppose you could read my About Me section to get the best description, but I will assume you are still looking for even more detail. Well I am sorry to say, that I plan on remaining anonymous for the privacy of any agency or district I have worked for as well as any student or staff that has crossed my path. Disappointing as I know you are as I tend to find myself slightly exciting, but I assure you I am only slightly exciting thus staying away from any personal details about who I am will probably be in your best interest. Plus, if you disagree with me, you won't be able to find me.
I shall divulge a few bits of juicy specifics about myself, for those who just can't stand the stress of not knowing. I am, by classification of business card and name tag, an Educational Therapist. What is this, simply a dressed up version of classroom teacher. I do have both Elementary and Special Education certification. I am currently working on my Masters in Special Education with a certificate in Autism Studies. I also like long walks on the beach and white wine, but that can be saved for a different blog.

WHERE
Again, anonymity...just know I very much enjoy the Midwest and snow days! I have worked in settings with a variety of students and it should be known that these generally are not general education settings in suburban neighborhoods.

WHAT
Well, I hope to share all my experiences in this blog. These can really come from anywhere. The important thing to remember is that I am not only expected to be a teacher. All teachers know that our certification also requires us to be a nurse, a family counselor, a therapist, a janitor, a coach, a referee, a lawyer, an advocate for personal rights, a babysitter, a chauffeur, jail warden, a chef, and the list goes on. With these in mind...the stories can be endless.

WHEN
I solomnly vow on my non exsisting faith and the lack of bible that accompanies it that I will blog as often as possible and keep you up to date with all the humorous/horror stories I experience. I will be starting this blog with stories that have happened earlier on in my career as there are an abundance of stories that have yet to be shared with the cyber world.

WHY
Well, being that I am a teacher my life is not easy. Despite what people think, not all teachers get summers off and breaks throughout the year. I surely don't. I currently work with students with some severe aggression and I get beat up on a regular basis. To meet Missouri standards I HAD to go back and work on my Master's Degree. With all this being said, I make less than the average person, yet still slightly higher than the drive thru manager at Taco Bell. Well as you can imagine all of this piles up and drives me to therapy...unfortunately my less that astonishing health insurance does not cover therapy and related services and the bills were piling up. (see above mentioned comment about teacher pay...and I am a non for profit teacher!) So I have decided to use the lovely blogosphere to vent my successes and failures of my chosen profession.

WARNING
OK, like all teachers, I tend to lie...it is usually for your own good...but yes I added a sixth W.
This is your warning to leave if this blog does not sound like a challenge you are up to!