Ah snow days! Sleeping in, bundling up, making snow angels and snow forts till your hands go numb, and then starting all over once you have warmed up with your favorite packet of Swiss Miss Instant Hot Cocoa!! Oh….what, you are an adult? Yeah, me too. My morning tends to be more…get up extra early if snow was predicted, bundle up, trudge out to the car, locate scrapper, clean off car with said scraper, pry open frozen car doors, warm up car, after 20 minutes screw the heat and drive off anyway, and SOMEHOW make it to work later than normal. Yes, as a child in the Midwest or anywhere to the north east of the Midwest, I and others dreamed, actually PRAYED, for snow days. As an adult in the same location I dread the snow and the idiots it brings out.
I know what you may be thinking. “This lady is a teacher! She doesn’t know what we go through. A tad bit of frozen precipitation hits the ground and she is back to being 8 years old again, not to worry about work at all!” Lets clear some things up…ONLY public school teachers get the perks of a snow day (well and some private school teachers as well.) But here I am sitting at my desk on this brisk snowy day wishing I was out throwing snow balls at passing cars and unsuspecting children. I do not get snow days, unless I would like to use PTO. It’s the cruel world of working for a non for profit agency that never closes. We are a 24-7 agency as we do have a residential program for developmentally disabled adults, and when you require 24 hours assistance, staff is not excused because of a wintery mix. But, much like the young child with in, I do enjoy these days. I have no students. They obviously got the day off. This leaves me in my quiet classroom to catch up on some real work, ahem, blogging.
But even while I sit here in the quiet peacefulness that I never get to experience in my classroom, I can’t help but reflect on why my priorities change. Why was once the fluffy white substance reason for celebration and now just an element waiting to mix with salt and discolor and corrode my car? Why as children can we appreciate such beauty, only to turn against it they day our tires hit the road? I never thought there would be a day where I would curse Mother Nature only due to the fact I have to trudge into work. I swore to myself as a child that I would always love the snow for its beauty and the endless creativity it provided me. In my ripe age of…errrr, later 20s, I have lost most of my inner child and have forgotten the promises I once made to myself. I can’t help but think my inner child was right…and I still need to hang on to a quote I try and live by:
“It takes a long time to become young”
These simple and sometimes confusing words were once said by Pablo Picasso. Now I am far from an art history major or philosopher, nor did this blog EVER promise such wisdom and insight. I do however feel it is important to remember the joy in our hearts we had as children and always strive to get back to that place, however long it may take us. The simple beauty of life when you are 8 is much more than it will ever be at the ripe age of whatever you may currently be. So as you slip and slide through the slush in a panic to get the last of the milk, bread and eggs, please remember that 20 years ago that this snow day was the BEST part of the entire winter school year.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Faith No More
What job can possibly be more under appreciated than that of a teacher? I am sure you quickly thought of garbage man, porta-potty cleaner, or perhaps even the teenager who collects carts at the grocery store, selflessly braving heat, rain and snow to keep carts stocked and your car almost dent free. I assure you those jobs do make the world go round, but I was thinking more along the lines of a substitute teacher. Sure you locked them out of the classroom when you were in middle school or put laxatives in their coffee, but you still appreciated the day, as it was a day with little supervision and next to no work. Yet, to this day, the dreaded substitute teacher still is over looked and under appreciated as an educational profession. Many might not understand the challenges that are laid out for a sub.
Well okay, so maybe you enjoy getting a call at 5 AM asking you to come into work at the last minute while you are still nursing a wicked hangover. This part may not be one of the many challenges for you. Perhaps not knowing what class/subject/content you will be forced to teach also sounds fun…again not a bump in the road. Health insurance, benefits package…ppfffsssh…you don’t need them. Fine so far the subbing gig might sound stellar to you, GREAT. However, the lack of respect, the teasing, the screaming, the practical jokes, the complete lies, the lack of help from any other teacher and the pure chaos about to ensue is bound to cause anyone to take a bath with a live toaster.
Me?
Alright, so I loved every minute of substitute teaching. Perhaps it caused me to eat Ramon Noodles and Hamburger Helper more times than recommended for the human stomach, but it was a dream job fresh from college. I could do what I wanted when I wanted and turn down jobs I would dread. I loved the thrill of the unknown and meeting so many new kids. Best of all it gave me the opportunity to test out my ability to manage a classroom with little consequence. After all, I could care less if this class failed math…I am not the one required to maintain Annual Yearly Progress for this classroom.
I was wrong, there is consequence. There are currently 25 now sixth graders who have me to blame for ruining their childhood fantasies, and perhaps their parents blame me for the corruption building in their lives.
What could they expect? The little Catholic school did not have me list my religious affiliation on the application for employment, how could they, there are laws to follow. They were none the wiser they had just hired an Atheist. This was not a concern of mine as I was applying for a substitute position for middle school. I would be stuck in social studies and math classes not to worry a thing about religion. Until the day I was running short on my Ramon cuisine and needed to take on extra jobs. “Would I mind, second grade? Of course not, be there by 8!”
Everything was going great…I even made it till two without stepping on one of the lil buggers running around the room or even losing one on the playground. But then on the sub schedule I looked at the last class and it was religion. I can handle this…I just taught spelling and I can’t spell. I opened up the chapter and we began the review for the test to occur the next day. We were speeding through the vocabulary when a student asked for me to explain faith again. I thought about my possible choices…I could feign medical trauma or I could tell the truth. I chose truth and dove right into what I thought was a magical explanation…
“Well, faith is when you believe in something even if there is no proof. (Smiles and nods…good) Sort of like Santa, no one sees Santa, and even though he doesn’t exist you still believe.”
Back up…did I just out Santa to a believing group of second graders? Did I just compare the Catholic religion and notable deity to a fictional Hallmark character? Did I just denounce the existence of Jesus and the fat man that brings toys?
Did I EVER substitute teach again?
Well okay, so maybe you enjoy getting a call at 5 AM asking you to come into work at the last minute while you are still nursing a wicked hangover. This part may not be one of the many challenges for you. Perhaps not knowing what class/subject/content you will be forced to teach also sounds fun…again not a bump in the road. Health insurance, benefits package…ppfffsssh…you don’t need them. Fine so far the subbing gig might sound stellar to you, GREAT. However, the lack of respect, the teasing, the screaming, the practical jokes, the complete lies, the lack of help from any other teacher and the pure chaos about to ensue is bound to cause anyone to take a bath with a live toaster.
Me?
Alright, so I loved every minute of substitute teaching. Perhaps it caused me to eat Ramon Noodles and Hamburger Helper more times than recommended for the human stomach, but it was a dream job fresh from college. I could do what I wanted when I wanted and turn down jobs I would dread. I loved the thrill of the unknown and meeting so many new kids. Best of all it gave me the opportunity to test out my ability to manage a classroom with little consequence. After all, I could care less if this class failed math…I am not the one required to maintain Annual Yearly Progress for this classroom.
I was wrong, there is consequence. There are currently 25 now sixth graders who have me to blame for ruining their childhood fantasies, and perhaps their parents blame me for the corruption building in their lives.
What could they expect? The little Catholic school did not have me list my religious affiliation on the application for employment, how could they, there are laws to follow. They were none the wiser they had just hired an Atheist. This was not a concern of mine as I was applying for a substitute position for middle school. I would be stuck in social studies and math classes not to worry a thing about religion. Until the day I was running short on my Ramon cuisine and needed to take on extra jobs. “Would I mind, second grade? Of course not, be there by 8!”
Everything was going great…I even made it till two without stepping on one of the lil buggers running around the room or even losing one on the playground. But then on the sub schedule I looked at the last class and it was religion. I can handle this…I just taught spelling and I can’t spell. I opened up the chapter and we began the review for the test to occur the next day. We were speeding through the vocabulary when a student asked for me to explain faith again. I thought about my possible choices…I could feign medical trauma or I could tell the truth. I chose truth and dove right into what I thought was a magical explanation…
“Well, faith is when you believe in something even if there is no proof. (Smiles and nods…good) Sort of like Santa, no one sees Santa, and even though he doesn’t exist you still believe.”
Back up…did I just out Santa to a believing group of second graders? Did I just compare the Catholic religion and notable deity to a fictional Hallmark character? Did I just denounce the existence of Jesus and the fat man that brings toys?
Did I EVER substitute teach again?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
The 5 W's
For those of you who are not teachers...or perhaps have never attended third grade...the 5 W's are: who, where, what, when and why. I hope to answer those five questions right now to explain the purpose of this blog.
WHO
Well I suppose you could read my About Me section to get the best description, but I will assume you are still looking for even more detail. Well I am sorry to say, that I plan on remaining anonymous for the privacy of any agency or district I have worked for as well as any student or staff that has crossed my path. Disappointing as I know you are as I tend to find myself slightly exciting, but I assure you I am only slightly exciting thus staying away from any personal details about who I am will probably be in your best interest. Plus, if you disagree with me, you won't be able to find me.
I shall divulge a few bits of juicy specifics about myself, for those who just can't stand the stress of not knowing. I am, by classification of business card and name tag, an Educational Therapist. What is this, simply a dressed up version of classroom teacher. I do have both Elementary and Special Education certification. I am currently working on my Masters in Special Education with a certificate in Autism Studies. I also like long walks on the beach and white wine, but that can be saved for a different blog.
WHERE
Again, anonymity...just know I very much enjoy the Midwest and snow days! I have worked in settings with a variety of students and it should be known that these generally are not general education settings in suburban neighborhoods.
WHAT
Well, I hope to share all my experiences in this blog. These can really come from anywhere. The important thing to remember is that I am not only expected to be a teacher. All teachers know that our certification also requires us to be a nurse, a family counselor, a therapist, a janitor, a coach, a referee, a lawyer, an advocate for personal rights, a babysitter, a chauffeur, jail warden, a chef, and the list goes on. With these in mind...the stories can be endless.
WHEN
I solomnly vow on my non exsisting faith and the lack of bible that accompanies it that I will blog as often as possible and keep you up to date with all the humorous/horror stories I experience. I will be starting this blog with stories that have happened earlier on in my career as there are an abundance of stories that have yet to be shared with the cyber world.
WHY
Well, being that I am a teacher my life is not easy. Despite what people think, not all teachers get summers off and breaks throughout the year. I surely don't. I currently work with students with some severe aggression and I get beat up on a regular basis. To meet Missouri standards I HAD to go back and work on my Master's Degree. With all this being said, I make less than the average person, yet still slightly higher than the drive thru manager at Taco Bell. Well as you can imagine all of this piles up and drives me to therapy...unfortunately my less that astonishing health insurance does not cover therapy and related services and the bills were piling up. (see above mentioned comment about teacher pay...and I am a non for profit teacher!) So I have decided to use the lovely blogosphere to vent my successes and failures of my chosen profession.
WARNING
OK, like all teachers, I tend to lie...it is usually for your own good...but yes I added a sixth W.
This is your warning to leave if this blog does not sound like a challenge you are up to!
WHO
Well I suppose you could read my About Me section to get the best description, but I will assume you are still looking for even more detail. Well I am sorry to say, that I plan on remaining anonymous for the privacy of any agency or district I have worked for as well as any student or staff that has crossed my path. Disappointing as I know you are as I tend to find myself slightly exciting, but I assure you I am only slightly exciting thus staying away from any personal details about who I am will probably be in your best interest. Plus, if you disagree with me, you won't be able to find me.
I shall divulge a few bits of juicy specifics about myself, for those who just can't stand the stress of not knowing. I am, by classification of business card and name tag, an Educational Therapist. What is this, simply a dressed up version of classroom teacher. I do have both Elementary and Special Education certification. I am currently working on my Masters in Special Education with a certificate in Autism Studies. I also like long walks on the beach and white wine, but that can be saved for a different blog.
WHERE
Again, anonymity...just know I very much enjoy the Midwest and snow days! I have worked in settings with a variety of students and it should be known that these generally are not general education settings in suburban neighborhoods.
WHAT
Well, I hope to share all my experiences in this blog. These can really come from anywhere. The important thing to remember is that I am not only expected to be a teacher. All teachers know that our certification also requires us to be a nurse, a family counselor, a therapist, a janitor, a coach, a referee, a lawyer, an advocate for personal rights, a babysitter, a chauffeur, jail warden, a chef, and the list goes on. With these in mind...the stories can be endless.
WHEN
I solomnly vow on my non exsisting faith and the lack of bible that accompanies it that I will blog as often as possible and keep you up to date with all the humorous/horror stories I experience. I will be starting this blog with stories that have happened earlier on in my career as there are an abundance of stories that have yet to be shared with the cyber world.
WHY
Well, being that I am a teacher my life is not easy. Despite what people think, not all teachers get summers off and breaks throughout the year. I surely don't. I currently work with students with some severe aggression and I get beat up on a regular basis. To meet Missouri standards I HAD to go back and work on my Master's Degree. With all this being said, I make less than the average person, yet still slightly higher than the drive thru manager at Taco Bell. Well as you can imagine all of this piles up and drives me to therapy...unfortunately my less that astonishing health insurance does not cover therapy and related services and the bills were piling up. (see above mentioned comment about teacher pay...and I am a non for profit teacher!) So I have decided to use the lovely blogosphere to vent my successes and failures of my chosen profession.
WARNING
OK, like all teachers, I tend to lie...it is usually for your own good...but yes I added a sixth W.
This is your warning to leave if this blog does not sound like a challenge you are up to!
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